No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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