If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
