His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
