My brain says no but my pants say off.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
is it fun? or sober?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
