there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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