worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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