and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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