Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
