One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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