Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
