I am in a vortex of obligation.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
