Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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