Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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