whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
