Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
