The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm always down for nudity.
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