Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
