the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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