I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
