weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
