forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
