you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
