I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
