Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
