I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize