Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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