Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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