just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
