i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
