Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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