He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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