Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
