so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
