i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
