so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
