: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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