Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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