I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
