Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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