I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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