I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Randomize
