I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
