I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize