i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
