Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
