Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
