I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
