We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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