I just saw a hot homeless man
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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