Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
