Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
