the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
