went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
