I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
