He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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