worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
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She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
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I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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