maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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