I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
