she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
