he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
