I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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