You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
YAS. BRING CRAB.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
