There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
