OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize