I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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