I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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