haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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