should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence